My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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