You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
tell me about the fingering
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