You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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