Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Randomize