Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
