theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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