You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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