you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
There are leaves in my underwear?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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