So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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