Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
