what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
