i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
