Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
