Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
