...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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