I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
