is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Oh god it's open bar.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
