I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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