i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
