State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize