How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
