this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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