I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
