Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have already put on my inside pants.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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