We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
