i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
