can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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