i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
