Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
