so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's shark week go big or go home
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
