Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
