Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
