She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
