We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
