saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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