If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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