and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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