Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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