the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
