my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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