Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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