God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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