we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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