the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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