I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
