Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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