so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
