The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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