butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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