awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
