so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
