What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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