Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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