Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
