Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
