my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
