i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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