Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
