i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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