New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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