im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize